The 'Authentic Self': What Is It, and Does It Help to Search for the 'Real Me'?
For anyone exhausted from searching for the 'real me' – or wondering who they are beneath the mask.
The modern demand to 'be yourself'
We live in a culture saturated with the demand to be ‘authentic’.
We see it on social media slogans, corporate leadership seminars, and wellness wall art, all urging us to strip away our filters, ‘live our truth’, and reveal our ‘real’ self. It might be presented as some kind of moral virtue - if you are not showing up unfiltered in every room, you are being inauthentic.
For values-driven people, late-diagnosed neurodivergents, and anyone experiencing the strain of high-responsibility caring or community work, this advice is unlikely to feel liberating.
Many of my coaching clients arrive feeling like imposters. They tell me they have spent decades masking ADHD or Autistic traits, adapting to rigid workplaces, or people-pleasing to maintain relationships, to the point where they question who they really are now. They wonder whether their tendency to adapt their tone, body language, and energy depending on who they are with is a problem. The search for an elusive, permanent ‘authentic self’ can become another standard to fail.
Essential Skills for Socially Conscious Leadership - Using the Seven Cs Model to Drive Change
For leaders, managers, and organisations moving beyond command-and-control without burning out their teams.
The flaw in technical promotion
In many parts of the working world, there has been a noticeable shift away from top-down, command-and-control management towards more collaborative, socially conscious leadership. Yet for some decision-makers, this evolution is still viewed with suspicion – dismissed as a soft, optional extra or a recipe for decision paralysis.
In practice, leadership development still tends to follow a flawed promotional pattern: an individual demonstrates excellence in a specialist operational or technical role, and is subsequently promoted into management on the strength of that expertise, with little preparation for the relational demands of leading human beings.