ADHD and masking: what it actually costs
For anyone diagnosed later in life, and still working out what it changes.
Someone on a training course once told me that I’d never be taken seriously if I continued to move my hands like that when I talk. For the rest of the course, I grudgingly sat on them or kept them as still as I could.
I've thought a lot about that comment in the years since being diagnosed with ADHD. I’ve reflected on what was actually being asked of me. It wasn't that I should communicate more clearly - I don’t think anyone was struggling to follow me because I talk with my hands. What was being asked was that I ‘tone it down’, so that the people watching would feel more comfortable.
Masking, or taking up less space in order to fit in or be 'taken seriously', is more about others' comfort than the needs of the person wearing the mask.
The fizzy bottle: how safe does it feel to lift the lid on ‘fizzy’ emotions and sticky subjects?
For leaders sitting on something their team hasn't said out loud yet.
Bottling up emotions and unsayable words can risk a build up of stress that leads to explosive conflicts, burnout, health problems and more. I’m interested in how we can take the same approach we would use with a shaken up fizzy bottle – unscrewing the lid slowly, carefully, and a little at a time.
Sharing and Taking Up Space: Why We Shrink, and How to Stop
For anyone who has learned to make themselves small, quiet, or convenient.
The Tube, the pavement, and the art of squeezing In
If you travel on public transport in any major city, you already know the choreography.
You sit on the Tube or the bus, and the person next to you has their knees spread wide, claiming half of your seat alongside their own. You feel the familiar, automatic contraction: you pull your knees together, tuck your elbows against your ribs, and pull your bag onto your lap. You might let out a quiet sigh, but mostly you make yourself compact. You spend the rest of the journey carrying physical tension in your thighs, shoulders, and jaw, simply to avoid confrontation or unwanted physical contact.
You see the same dynamic on the pavement. A few years ago, several women documented playing a game dubbed ‘patriarchy chicken’: walking down a crowded street at a normal pace and refusing to automatically step aside for oncoming men. The result, almost universally, was repeated shoulder collisions.
On the surface, these seem like minor everyday irritations. But our physical posture is rarely just about etiquette. It is a direct reflection of how power, privilege, and social hierarchy are experienced in the body. How much physical and emotional space we feel entitled to occupy is learned long before we are conscious of the lesson.
Why certain bodies learn to shrink
Shrinking yourself might seem like a character flaw or a lack of confidence, but it is an intelligent, learned survival strategy.
What Does a Somatic Coach Actually Do?
For anyone wondering what somatic coaching actually looks like in practice – and whether it could help.
The problem with niche titles
I have a confession to make: I sometimes dread the question ‘what do you do?’
When I tell people I am a somatic coach and practitioner, the title often sounds like a specialist niche that requires a ten-minute explanation. For many, ‘somatic’ sounds vaguely mystical, evoking images of crystal bowls or unstructured emotional catharsis. For others, ‘coaching’ suggests corporate performance optimisation, five-year plans, and relentless positivity.
My work sits in neither camp. It exists to address a practical, grounded reality: the challenges that bring people to coaching – things like exhaustion, chronic self-doubt, conflict avoidance, and career paralysis – need more than thinking and talking to be resolved. Intellectually understanding your patterns does not stop your body from reacting when the pressure mounts.
The Psychology of Voice
For anyone whose voice shakes when it matters, or who swallows what they really need to say.
When I talk about the psychology of voice, people often hope or expect to learn tactics for being heard, understood, and taken seriously, based on studies that show which pitch, accent, body language, or tone audiences best respond to. There can be real value in considering how we come across when we communicate, yet I don't offer tips and tricks that promise to endow you with an artificial air of authority, confidence, or persuasiveness. My passion lies in wholehearted, authentic communication. As a practitioner, I explore how our thoughts, emotions, and physical states shape how we express ourselves, and specialise in communication, trauma recovery, relationships, and a body-focused approach to wellbeing.
The interface between inside and outside
When I think of voice, I think about being heard, speaking out against things we find unacceptable, advocating for ourselves or others, performing or presenting in front of an audience, and the physical mechanics of speaking or singing.
Collective Psyche, Myth and Ritual
For anyone feeling disoriented by the stories our culture tells in a crisis – and looking for grounding that feels real.
Humans are hard-wired for connection. We evolved as pack animals who relied on safety in numbers, but we're also compulsive meaning-makers. When a crisis hits and the world stops making sense, the stories we tell ourselves determine whether we pull together or turn on each other.
Throughout human history, sharing stories around a fire helped our ancestors create a common identity, honour those who came before them, and navigate an unpredictable environment. Our ability to imagine together allowed us to build shared symbols, rules, and communities.
Celebrating Neurodiversity
For adults navigating late-diagnosed ADHD, burnout, or sensory overload: how somatic grounding helps when the world isn't built for your brain.
Beyond the language of 'disorder'
It feels more positive, here and now, to be discussing neurodiversity as a term to describe the broad and glorious spectrum of different neurotypes that exist across human populations. The word is celebratory, with ‘diversity’ seen as something to be achieved and delighted in. An acknowledgement of all the different ways that brains can work and that this contributes to the many different skills and traits that make up a well-rounded society. Of course, neurodivergent brains are still described through the language of ‘disorder’ and still, in many cases require support, be it medical or psychoeducational. I’ve been reframing the language of ‘disorder’ for myself by looking at some of the traits and tendencies that can present challenges, and how they often seem to have a ‘mirror’ trait that is an advantage (like the struggle to think clearly through a task in ordered steps, vs. the creative thinking that gave me the edge in those 4am essays). Still, a society that, just like the school system I remember, is not designed with neurodivergent experiences in mind can be an exhausting place to navigate.